Back at the house, it’s dark. Camera pans through house. Bilge lies on couch, flipping through channels. Kent is in the living room messing with his guitar. Monk is at the kitchen table drawing his Magic Circus characters while Nel and Bud talk to each other across the kitchen island from Monk.
Nel – Best. Sportsman. Ever. Full stop.
Bud – Babe Ruth?
Nel – Please…
Monk without looking up, shouts.
Monk – Barry Bonds.
Bud – Very funny. You go to school to get so funny, take funny classes from Professa’ McFunny…
Nel – Donald Bradman is the greatest cricket player of all time, his records dominate still. Untouchable. No other athlete in any sport so far exceeds all other competitors in their field.
Bud – No one gives a shit about cricket.
Nel – So American. You disappoint me. I would have thought our arrival on American soil 15 years ago would have hearkened a new era of global consciousness in you sorry lot.
Kent walks in strumming guitar, switches to “Glory, Glory Hallaleujah”
Nel – An era where puerile, myopic, self-absorbed high school students from the sprawling metropolis of Lodi, when exposed to the brilliant, open-minded, free-spirited whimsy imported from our Sunburned Country to yours…
Bilge has turned off TV and joined Kent swaying and humming along…”the truth is marching on…”
Nel - …that you somehow, some way could have expanded your world-view. Alas, no, it appears my fine American friends…
Bud walks across kitchen to stand near Monk who continues to draw, the page now shows the elephant looking a bit like Nel as he motions to other Magic Circus characters with his trunk.
Nel - …that our efforts in that regard have failed utterly. And miserably. Cling to your parochial pastimes, ignore the stunning array of cultural opportunities more enlightened lands have to offer.
Bud – Like Kylie Minogue.
Monk – Paul Hogan.
Bilge – Hey, hey, no need to be like that…
The room is divided into two camps. Americans on one side, Australians the other. Kent riffs a little Men at Work, “I come from the land Down Under…” walks the room playing guitar as Monk keeps drawing. Bilge now goes to the fridge for a beer. Kent switches to AC-DC’s Back in Black. Bud goes to the fridge for a beer, as well. Bud and Bilge stand together watching and listening as Kent rocks the room, plays some Paul Kelly. Monk, still sits at the table drawing, the page now shows a koala looking like Kent playing guitar. Kent breaks into a new, unrecognizable song, puzzled looks from Bilge and Nel. Nel shouts at Kent.
Nel – What’s that there, Cap’n?
Kent smiles, still playing.
Kent – Dunno. Somethin’ new, been makin’ it up.
Nel approaches, waving his arm.
Nel – Ladies and gentlemen, this is cre-A-tivity in ACTION. Rest your eyes on this striking hunk of humanity! Nel puts his hands on Kent’s shoulders causing Kent to fumble on the guitar.
Kent – Ahh, bugger.
Kent stops and takes off guitar.
Kent – Give us a beer, Bilge.
Bilge pulls a can of beer from the fridge and tosses it to Kent, then says to the room.
Bilge – Speakin’ of CULTCHA’ what say you boys to absorbing a bit of the local Va-RI-It-EYE?
Nel – What’d you have in mind?
Bilge – Oh, I dunno, maybe a peak at some native dance.
Looks at Bud
Bud – That can be arranged…
End scene
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